Can you imagine anything that could hurt more than chronic physical pain?
How about the pain that lives inside? The emotional agony that comes with the judgmental stares and whispered comments when you’re 100 pounds overweight? The inability to buy a beautiful dress, or the seat-space shame when flying on an airplane?Now can you imagine losing that weight, and still coming up short? Feeling deep down that you are still not good enough? And still being unable to believe that you are beautiful and valuable and worthwhile?
Those are the everyday struggles that attach themselves to thousands upon thousands of men and women who suffer from eating disorders – even after they recover. The excess weight might be gone, but the anguish remains. Our overweight self is comforted by fairy-tale dreams of becoming a swan after feeling like the ugly duckling for so many years. We don’t always realize that no amount of shed pounds, nose jobs, and fancy new hairstyles can heal a broken body image.
I know this agony firsthand, both fat and thin. And I am happy to report that today I have freedom. None of these things have any power over me anymore. Not self-criticism, not the scale, and not food.
Very few of us have a clear and honest perception in our “internal mirror.” Like the reflections in a fun house, we’re all out of whack, seeing ourselves as too fat or too thin, too crooked here, and too short there. Obese people often live in eternal (and deadly) denial, and some healthy-looking individuals are actually abusing themselves through starvation, compulsive exercise, and purging. And there’s no easy fix to this. There’s no exiting the fun house with a few laughs at the experience. The ride just goes on and on.
The simple truth is this: getting off that wheel starts with what we eat, how we live, and how we feel. The more fully we can surrender our love affair with self-criticism, the more room we give ourselves to learn self-care and self-esteem. And learn it, and learn it, and learn it some more. We have to learn a whole new way to love ourselves no matter what, and forgive ourselves for the hatred to begin with!
You can come out of the other side of self-hatred and discover an experience as beautiful and magnificent as falling in love…because that’s exactly what is happening. You are falling in love with yourself and your life!
It’s time to start dating yourself. Not sure where to start? Let me help.
Step 1. Start your day with a prayer to remember that you are powerful and precious. However you like to pray – whether in the lotus position, on your knees, or with your arms raised to the sky – ask the power around you to remind you to love yourself today…no matter what. Let every negative comment or thought simply float away unjudged. If you want peace, you must give up conflict, entirely and all the time.
Step 2. Take the time to actively care for yourself. Let that be manifested as loving actions toward yourself today. We’re talking the basics here: rest, play, healthy food and movement. How long has it been since you truly focused on these things?
Step 3. Love is a two-way street, so treat yourself to time with those who love YOU. Get in touch with your inner child and run, skip, jump, climb, and play with the ones who uplift you, nurture you, and really get you motivated.
The simple truth is that YOU have the right to be honored and comforted, fulfilled and loved – inside and out. That pain you feel, deep in your heart, CAN be healed. You CAN find joy again.
Allow this into your life, starting today.
I want to honor you with some self-care gifts that I know you will love!
CLICK HERE to download your free gifts which include the #1 tool that helped me lose and keep off 100 pounds for good, healing affirmations, a piece on Willingness, and a personal audio message for you!